Finding That Right Somebody
It knocked me hard yesterday when I had to think about how almost every individual I come across talks about finding the right person, soul-mate or better half, that’s if they are not already taken. Yes, that right somebody who was created and destined to be with just them and only them. I couldn’t help but wonder if there is anything as such thought. These two questions propelled me to write this article and seek light for my self-deliberations. Firstly the issue of soul-mates, are they born and somehow connected with us from birth OR Do we choose who our soul-mates are going to be?
Perhaps let me just to set a building block on this subject of interest by sharing a bit from my experience. A couple of years ago I met this remarkable, loving, caring, fun and very attractive somebody whom I had a spectacular connection with. I wanted to spend my days, weeks, months and years to come with them. They were my oh-so-better-half and I believed I was the same to them. We just knew we were made to be together. Actually we used to say when God made the other He had the other one in mind. We had plans to get married, make a name for ourselves as we both were ambitious career people. We wanted to have children and live happily ever after- Oh what a beautiful life it would’ve been. But, unfortunately things didn’t work out as planned.As we grew older, we also drew apart and that my dear friend was the end of a perfectly planned life with my ‘right’ somebody. Well as much as you want me to divulge the distinctive details of my almost fairy-tale life, I will just have to disappoint you this time around and reserve that for another day.
As difficult as it was to let go and move on, pick up the pieces of my oh-so-single life, I learned lessons I will forever treasure. I learned lessons about myself and about the mighty love institution.
So it made me wonder if all along I was with the wrong person. I had to ask myself questions like, were they the wrong ones or is there even a right one just for me to start with.
To answer some of my questions, I had to take it back to creation, as a Christian I had to track it down from where it all started. Yes, you got that right- ADAM. As much as we’ve heard of Adam and Eve’s naughty deed at the Garden of Eden and how they were subjected to working hard and being prone to nature because of their disobedience, we have never really grasped the reality that the lineage was broken back then. If one person back in those days married the wrong person and their supposed right person married another wrong person and they bore children, who then had to marry other wrong people who by the way are from a generation of a wrong lineage, then it means the whole circle of being with the ‘right’ person was broken centuries ago.
Then it means we choose who to be with and when we are satisfied with the people they are, we then choose to label them ‘Right’. As much as our destinies have been predestined, this is one area where we choose who to call our ‘Right’. So challenge this theory if you stand by a different one or call me a party pooper to your fairy-tale but keep me in mind that there is a no particular person out there whose name is engraved on your forehead or your name on theirs and made just for you. Our paths intertwine and we come across people who will either stay or move right along based on their personal choice.
To find the right person I believe we first have to prepare ourselves to be the right people in our own way. A simple example would be, if I want a person whom I will travel the world with, have no children but simply travel the universe together till we grow old, and I am certain that this is all I want to do, then my ‘right’ would be a person who complements and fits within that vision.
So flick a coin and think about this. If really there is someone out there who is made particularly for you, then what if they unfortunately suffered violence and died a tragic death a long time ago? Does this mean you will be single for the rest of your life because they died? OR are you going to get out there and find another right person? Perhaps, a widow can help us answer this daring question.
As for me, I hope you manage to CHOOSE your perfect Mr or Miss Right.
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