The Lesson in Seasons.

Today I decided to write about a subject that is dear to my heart and your heart, actually to everyone's heart because it affects us all-  That is the subject of friendships and their seasons. As you read this piece, I hope you relate with some passages, learn, challenge or contribute to this subject. Most of all, I hope this helps you to be a better 'YOU'.

Friends, buddies, mates, tsalas, chomees, mpintshis it doesnt matter what you call them- fact is we all have them. Can't live with them and sadly we can't live without them.
It took me a lot of consideration to finally draft an article under this subject , firstly I had to consider the realities, complexity and sensitiveness encompassed in this subject and be as objective and ubiased as much in my opinions.

A couple of years ago, I went through a wilderness I had never experienced in my life before. I went through a trying season where most of those I considered friends then turned their backs on me, mocked me, stabbed me at the back and betrayed me when I most needed them. What a painful season to be in- in all honesty I wish no one this experience -but it is unfortunately a neccessity for growth which we must all endure.

Comes a time in your life where you have to discover who your Judas is, face them and by the ability of choice in you choose what you do with them, its either you embrace them- help them be better people or you let them go and have nothing to do with them. When I went through this season I was cought between a hard rock and a deep blue sea, I was confussed, dissapointed and  very devastated. I had many regrets and so many unanswered questions- I was young, naive and didn't see it fair for me to have this experience. You need to know that some of these friends held confidential information about me- that is afterall what you do with your friends, you open your chest and be vulnerable to them under the assumption that they will be prudent about what you tell them. So much happend during this season, and I focused so much on the storm instead of the reason for the storm. The good news though is today I can boldly say I came out of it all wiser, stronger and more experienced. Of all lessons learned, the lesson of 'Seasons' still remains prized to me and as a giver I would like to share it with you.

 Firstly let me be frank to you by saying, not all the friends you have today are meant to be with you for a lifetime.Some friendships are seasonal and some are for a lifetime.

As we grow, we cross paths with people either for a good cause or to prune us to be better people along the way. I also believe that some friends are closer than your own siblings, there are things that only they know about you- this however doesnt mean they are meant to be around for a lifetime. Discernment or listening to your gut is very instrumental when trying to spot who your seasonal or lifetime friends are.  Becareful who you open your chest to- some people are too broken for us to notice and because of the facade they put on, we are sometimes fooled into believing they are lifetime friends meanwhile allowing them to get deeper and deeper into our private circle.
Now we have seasonal friends and lifetime friends, and you're probably thinking, how do you know if one is a seasonal or lifetime friend.

Well if I would say I have the perfect formular to great friendships, I would be deceiving you, I can only share wise lessons I have learned this far.
I must first admitt to you that I have a weakness or strength depending on how you see it, of being carried away on friendships or relationships- I get too excited and be too loving, transparent, trusting, honest and sometimes before I even notice I would have my fingeres burnt badly. Perhaps as you're reading this you are thinking, you are also like me, well let me tell you that you are not alone, it is our nature and there is nothing we can do about it- But there is definately something we can do to protect ourselves from friendship disasters .

It is important for us to understand seasonal friendships come with a lot of lessons and one must make sure that they do not focus on how those lessons come across but rather why they had to learn those lessons. Seasonal friendships are also destiny made like any other relationships- these are people who are specially destined to help you get to the next step of the ladder as you get closer to dear destiny. As difficult and sometimes painful these lessons come across, it is important to learn from them and add them to your wisdom hat. Do not focus on who taught you the lesson but what they taught you.

Like me, you probably have friendships you wish you never committed yourself into. Let me dissapoint you and say, you are probably also to blame for how those friendships ended. How? you may ask, well you were too absorbed into the normalcies of the friendship that you never payed attention to the alert signs along the way which were warnig you of the end of the season you were soon to reach.

Let me break it down to you and make a simple illustration of fruits and their seasons. Oranges are sweeter and more juicier in winter, they are in demand and more sold during their season- But what happens when you keep those oranges till mid-summer and try to enjoy them then? Fact is they will not be as sweet and tender as they were in winter because it was their season then not in summer. Same goes for friendships, seasonal friendships are at their best during their season but when you drag them over to another season which happens not to be theirs, they will have a bitter taste.

There are some friendships I look at today despite how they ended and realise a few lessons that have helped into being the person I am today. Some have taught me love, courage, strength, patience and even taught me things I never knew about myself and I will forever be grateful to the teachers of the lessons despite how badly I might have viewed the lessons then. The mistake we make though is to stay under this cynical cloud of bitterness about how bad things ended or what the then friends did to us though we claim to have forgiven them.

Isn't it funny how we are so quick to say we have forgiven yet still spitt vanom and resentment when we talk about these indivuduals. Truth is, we have not forgiven when that is the case but let me live that subject for yet another day.

I see it wise to strive escaping the trap of bitterness and acknowledge the end of seasons when they come without marking one another as ugly people. Allow me to challenge you into a life of greatness by asking you to set those indivuals you have long held captive into your mind because of the friendships you once had with them which did not turn out well. Release them in peace for your spiritual and physical health.

As I close this piece, always remember that ending a relationship or friendship doesn't mean you have to be enemies- NO, but it simply means you appreciate the seed of life that each of you has planted into the other's life and like doves you 'choose'  to release each other into meeting other seasonal friends whom you have lessons you deposit to. In the same spirit let me warn you that keeping friendship that are long overdue will result to caging you into a life of bitterness, resentment and anger- choose to master peace instead.

I hope you get time to reflect on your past friendships as honest as you can and in doing so I also hope you learn to discover who your seasonal friends are and in doing so, use them well during their season.