Being that colourful race-bunch, some caucasian, one coloured and me ofcourse brown/caramel we had a number of things to talk about from Pop Idols to Oscar Pristorius but suprisingly, we spent over 4-hours talking about 'RACE.'
Now you must understant that we are all in our 20s and our fathers were not political activists or apartheid lords during the struggle, we are just liberals. So after a fruitful and debatable conversation, I decided to write an article about it.
This is not the first time I am writing a piece about race or racism which in the past caused quite a stir and landed me with name tags from 'bloody kaffer to race maggot' from some of my readers but despite those little frenzies I still persued to engage on this sensitive subject.
Now we all know that Mzantsi has a blood-spattered history on race based violance, prejudice and discrimination under the awful system of apartheid. It was horrific and cruel but nonetheless I refuse to touch on this subject as many given the opportunity would jump at the opportunity to vent on this subject anytime.
RACISM- "Thats racist, you're racist, you look racist" are some of the few lines that encapsulate the memo of urgency on this touchy subject.
Firstly, I need to highlight it to you that being silent about racism does not put you over the blue light beneath the red gutter when dealing with this subject. Just like trying so hard to convince me that you are NOT RACIST does not make you any less racist but rather makes me wonder if you are racist and trying hard to convince others and yourself that you are not. Let me put it out there that not everybody who makes a noise about racism is indeed racist and not all who define by colour are racist. To those who would rather differ with this view, perhaps you can tell me if talking about rape more often makes one a rapist.
It is so unfortunate that we find our country in such a compromising position where the term 'RACISM' is abused even by those who are appear to be in power. It wasn't long ago when former ANCYL President and now accomplished EFF party leader- Julius Malema made headlines after accusing a BBC journalist of being racist among other things in a press conference. Following was that was the controversial Jacob Zuma potrait which left Goodman Gallery and City Press editor in fear of terrorism as they were loudly labelled racist also. What was even more suprising was that the public had missed the mark and ventured into touching the sensitive subject of racism to divert attention from issues that could have created space for dialouges about reall issues through out the country.
Often being race cuatious is confussed with being racist nowadays. Racism seems to be a much accessible ticket to boarding the next flight to a far away land of ignorance in our country. I, like many of you also believe in human race as opposed to colour coding but I also need to unfortunately burst your bubble and take you back to a reality that, there will be BLACK and WHITE. It doesn't matter how hard I try, I will always be black and my friend Kevin will always be white. This has nothing to do with us being racist or not it is just a FACT.
Because of the bitterness of our histoty in South Africa we have grown to be an over-sensitive nation meanwhile missing out in all the fun there is in our diversity. We are a diverse nation and instead of embracing and acknowledging each other we have grown apart over petty issues that do not qualify for attention of our democracy.
Whats even more entertaining is listening to conversations from fellow black people about habits or antics of the white race yet not consider themselves racist because according to them they are just being observant. What is racism then? Racism is when you- out of all your power and might make it a mission to put a certain race superior than the other meanwhile belittling the other race. White people also have highlights and key issues about black people's antics aswell believe you me but because their race was once superior they fail to play the game fairly with fears of being called racist.
I find it hard to digest the fact that it is acceptable to call a white person 'Umlungu' and not be quoted out of context yet when a white person calls a black person 'Darkie' it is seen as racist. Just like when a white person gets a better service from another white person we make it a point that we pull the racism card.
I was morethan impressed when an Afrikaaner colleague of mine told me that her 6-year old son thinks that that if you speak Afrikaans you are black and if you speak English you are then white. As cute and funny as this is, it also left me with a lot to think about. It drove me to the conclussion that being black is not a curse nor being white a race of leverage. There is so much to laugh about pertaining being blackness and whiteness. Pointing out that white people can not dance to save their lives is not racist just like when Kevin mentions the fact that black people can not swim at all is not racist too. Its a black and white thing. Not racism.
I think its hightime we remove the vail of our past and start enjoying the beauty and fun within our circles. Let us see race beyond violance and opression.
It was also very interesting when my other friends Nomsa and David (names have been changed) got engaged and were in a process of preparing for marriage a while ago. In the black culture one is not considered engaged till Lobola negotiations commence. To David this was not a problem at all, actually he was looking foward to the experience of chasing a bull, slaughtering it on his own and drinking Umqombothi (the African beer) as his fiance was Zulu. Nomsa was also looking foward into being a Mrs Foster, dressing up for tea parties, going hiking and enjoying weekend family dinners. It was very sad to almost see a beautiful thing fall apart due to families who could not come to terms with having inlaws from the other race. It saddened me and it showed me the bitter reality of our society.
I also have a couple of friends my age who wouldn't even consider interracial dating or marriage even if it was the last thing on earth not because this is based entirely on their choice but because it is not acceptable in their black or white families. One associate of mine once shared how she had to turn down a marriage proposal from her Indian boyfriend because there was no way that her black family would accept him as their 'umkhwenyana' (son in-law). She, unfortunately never thought about this when she first met him- she genuinely fell inlove.
So to the folk who is ready to shout ' Thats Racist' to honest people who might just be having a race talk, to the one who is probably annoyed by the race issue and to that one who tries to hard to prove she doesn't see black or white, I want you to tell me, what if your child would bring a 'mlungu' or 'darkie' home as their boyfriend or girlfriend, would you not see their blackness or whiteness then? Think about it and be as hinest as you can. And to those who think I am being racist for writing this piece, take a step back and do a bit of self introspection because chances are 'You too are RACIST '.
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